How to Enforce Boundaries in Caribbean Culture

Author: Amrita Persaud Kamrudeen

In the Caribbean household, it’s not unheard of for extended families to live together. After all, we are a tight-knit bunch. Keeping in mind this can become difficult as the years pass by. (You know what we are talking about.)

Familial relationships can be tough to navigate. All families are tricky; we don’t get to choose them. They can be the best or the most challenging parts of your life, and sometimes they are both. (But we have to deal with it!)

Therefore, it’s essential to set boundaries effectively to maintain a healthy balance in your relationships with immediate and extended family members, from parents to siblings, cousins, aunts, uncles, grandparents, etc.

Now we know what you are thinking… “In a Caribbean household, BOUNDARIES?!”H E L L Y E S!!! You read that right.

Remember that clear boundaries with family members are just y o u r s. Personal boundaries are the limits you set to establish what is acceptable and within your comfort zone. This varies from person to person.

You are entitled to express yourself when things don’t feel appropriate. You can tell family members about actions and words you find intrusive and aggressive.

I know you’re reading this thinking, haha! Do you even know what or whom you are talking to here with this? Negative generational rules must be broken. It is key that changes are made to matters like this.

How to set boundaries (A Guide to Help start the process)

-  Goal setting: this is where you ask yourself, what boundaries do I want and need to set?

   Start small. It may be uncomfortable at first but have no fear. Set a small and achievable boundary.

-  Be clear and precise: focus on your wants and be vocal.

-  Be respectful: the tone of the conversation is in your hands.

 -  Be rational: Discuss what is bothering you. It may not be received well, but do not let this hinder you from continuing.

   -Stay cool and calm. You are not responsible for others' reactions or choices but can control your own.

Of course, all this is easier said than done, but remember that nothing happens instantly. There will be pushback for disrupting the order of things. Your actions will be questioned. That is okay! You are not doing anything wrong. Change is inevitable, and we must remember that the older generation blindly followed everything set by the previous generation. In some families, you will be told, “Well, this is how we do things.” So, can’t the ways be changed?

Maybe you’re labeled the black sheep. Once again, nothing is wrong with that. Perhaps you’ll inspire a younger family member, or you’ll shake things up, and others will follow.

Keep breaking negative generational rules!